5ifty

Prompts and Challenges

Things happen in a split second of time that change the course of your life.

And all you can do is wish you were dead.

Memory crawls into bed beside you, suffocates you.

You wake in a sweat.

Take a shower.

Wash the smell from your skin twenty years later.

 

For this week’s challenge, you must write a fifty-word story. Not five thousand, not five hundred, but precisely fifty words.

My first ever attempt.

Possibly my last. 

Weekly Writing Challenge: Fifty | The Daily Post.

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58 thoughts on “5ifty

      1. You did pretty damn good. It got my attention and I wanted to know more. That makes it successful. I am left wondering if it is fiction or fact. In any event I like how edgy it was, but I hope it wasn’t true because I don’t wish pain on you, ever.

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  1. Bloody EXCELLENT ! – a compete word picture that leaves nothing hanging. You’re a fraud, Emilio: you’ve been able to write, all along ! WELL DONE YOU !!! [grin]

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    1. Thanks MR I’m just not sure. I wanted to say much more. In fact my original was 4 times as long (198 words) and I had to keep cutting until there were none of my original thoughts or feelings left.

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      1. Then it’s true, the quote The Boy made about writing being best when there’s nothing left to cut. Because what you posted doesn’t NEED anything else, believe me !!

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  2. Hopefully this isn’t your last attempt at such a thrilling story. I’m amazed at how vivid and engaging your story is in just fifty words. Every word you used was well chosen and really conveyed the melancholy.

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    1. A masterpiece? Well, that does it. I’m retiring my writing career. Never gonna get any better than that. Now, if someone would just say the same of my photography, I’d have a lot more time to spend with my wife. 🙂

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  3. One more comment – I read this last week and wanted to reply but was in too much of a hurry – better late than never!

    This piece of writing is powerfully poetic and moving to me – at some level (maybe the 50) I totally sense that split second and that shower. Thank you for posting this Emilio.

    ps. I’m not diligent with checking my reader, so that’s why I often miss some of your posts. I like the diversity you put forward.

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    1. Thank you very much, Bruce. I am the same, missing so much because I am working all day, then come home to spend time with my wife (forgive me for mentioning her so much but we are coming up on only our two year anniversary so it is still new to me), and I try to post, comment, and reply, and work on photography. And read!! If I could just retire now!

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"I take anything other than 'you big pig!' as a compliment." ~ Albert Brooks

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