OK, everyone. So, my wife is trying to kill me. (What a great teaser for a movie!) So, I guess I owe you an explanation. Rather than bore you, I’ll get to the juicy details. No guarantee that the juicy details won’t bore you either, but I’ll try to be concise.
We were at Arches National Park, a place we had visited about 6 years ago. This time Lynn insisted we hike up to Delicate Arch. Let me quote the park’s website:
Starting Point: Wolfe Ranch parking area
Parking may be limited.
Length: 3 miles (4.8 km) round trip
Time: 2 to 3 hours
Elevation change: 480 feet (146 meters)
Take at least 1 quart (1 liter) of water per person! There is no shade. Open slickrock with some exposure to heights. The first half-mile is a wide, well-defined trail. Upon reaching the slickrock, follow the rock cairns. The trail climbs gradually and levels out toward the top of this rock face. Just before you get to Delicate Arch, the trail goes along a rock ledge for about 200 yards.
Lynn had been bugging me for several months that she wanted us to hike to the arch but I was always hesitant. After a year of poor health I have been trying to get back into shape at the local gym with a personal trainer. His training has not yet taken hold and I am still way too far out of shape. But Lynn insisted we could do anything if we just took it slowly and rested when we had to.
We started out easily enough, the trail being flat and well maintained for the first, oh, ten feet or so. Then it turned to gravel and rocks and sparse vegetation. That’s when I took my first rest. Lynn was a few steps ahead and didn’t realize I had stopped. It continued on this way for the first half mile or so along winding trails with loose gravel underfoot. Then a scramble over rocks and boulders to what is called slickrock which is, of course, slick. By this time I was wheezing and Lynn feared I was suffering a heart attack. But, to make a long story short (too late?) we made it to the top after I saw a young mother carrying her baby in a pouch against her stomach and the young father holding his two year old son by the hand. I looked at the kid and said, well, if he can do it, so can I!
And so we did.
Afterwards, Lynn said “I wanted to take you here and show you how beautiful it was. And you didn’t think you could do it. Aren’t you proud of yourself?”
My breath was whistling through my teeth as I answered in short bursts. “”I’ll feel. Better. After I. Throw up!”
Later, on the way back to our hotel, Lynn asked, “Haven’t you ever wanted to take me somewhere to show me something?”
“Yes,” I answered.
I hesitated for a moment. “”The bedroom.”
She laughed. “You already have. And there was nothing to see.”
I tell you, my wife kills me.